In/Exhale: S3 – February 7, 2001

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In/Exhale – S3 Continuing August 8

Update: I wasn’t able to finish the synopsis (“Previously on…”) in time, so I pushed the start date up a week to August 8. I’ll be posting the synopsis as soon as I finish it. I apologize for the delay.

Hey, everyone, I’m still around. It’s been a crazy past couple weeks, adjusting to a new medication and dealing with the effects of my Botox treatment wearing off weeks before my next one. . . .

Anyway, I’m proud to announce that I’m going to go ahead and begin posting the rest of In/Exhale, Season 3, starting next Monday, August 1, on the blog. I know I always posted on Tuesdays, but it looks like all the days are taken except Monday and Friday, and Friday I tend to have doctor appointments, so Monday is best. And what better way to start the week than with a dose of Kai and Renee?

Once an entire chapter (day) is complete on the blog, I’ll post it here. But if you follow me on social media (especially Google + for immediate updates), you’ll never miss an episode.

Thanks to all my loyal readers!

PS – I’m going to try to write up a “Previously On” to help catch everyone up!

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In/Exhale: S3 – February 6, 2001

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In/Exhale: S3 – Flashback: August 9, 1982

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Dump the 1-10 Pain Scale for the “Netflix” Scale

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When you suffer from chronic pain, the 1-10 pain scale is a joke. (Rate your pain from nothing to your worst ever, from 1-10, in case your fortunate enough not to be familiar with it.)

In reality, that scale is a joke anyway because it’s totally subjective. Someone’s ten might be someone else’s five. In fact, this ridiculous scale is part of what makes it so hard for chronic pain patients to “prove” we’re really in such significant pain. When you’re in pain all the time, especially when you’re in a situation like mine in which the pain level doesn’t vary much, asking me to rate it is kind of like asking for me to tell you what my leg feels like without touching it with my hands. It’s just there. Always there. I can’t rate how “present” my leg is in a practical way. One of my friends with chronic pain jokingly said that every time she’s asked to rate her pain it feels like she’s taking a test she’s about to fail. Continue reading

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In/Exhale: S3 – February 3, 2001

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Betrayal: My Doctor Ignored My Chronic Pain

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“Do no harm,” is part of the oath that all medical students must take. It’s supposed to be an essential part of being a doctor–to not do any injury to their patients. But it’s a sad fact that too many doctors forget that by ignoring or not treating their patients’ pain, they’re actually doing just that–harm. And not only is untreated chronic pain detrimental to a patient’s health and quality of life, it also affects them emotionally.

I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with doctors as I have several health conditions, but recently, I had perhaps my worst. Continue reading

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In/Exhale: S3 – February 2, 2001

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Painsomnia: When Pain Steals My Sleep

Update: A version of this post has been published on The Mighty website!

009c22700bb01ed68008cb0d0a3497b7This morning I sat at the kitchen table and cried.

Alone, while my dogs were napping after their breakfasts and my husband was in the shower getting ready for his day.

Those quiet, yet powerful sobs I’d mastered as a child growing up in a household where any show of emotion would be turned and twisted against me.

About a month ago, I wrote about how sleep was my only escape from the relentless pain. I’ve lost that, too. It’s been a couple weeks since the medicine I used to take to help me sleep through each pain-filled night stopped working. Now, no matter what I do, I wake up multiple times a night, in terrible pain, praying to fall asleep again. I usually do after an hour or two, but it never lasts until I’m again ripped awake.

Being in pain all the time was bad enough. Being sleep deprived and exhausted–which, lucky me, also only makes pain worse–feels like winning the FML (fuck my life for those of you who don’t do the acronym thing) gold metal.

So sometimes I sit and cry, in pain, exhausted, and wishing for a few uninterrupted hours of sleep. Continue reading

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In/Exhale: S3 – February 1, 2001

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